Join me in welcoming our newest team member Jeremy Gillentine.   He was kind enough to write a few words about himself.   Jeremy is currently accepting new referrals.  

I am a native of Prattville, AL. I attended Prattville public schools K-12. I have worked in and around Prattville my whole life. I am working with Social Work Solutions as an intern to complete my Masters of Science in Counseling from Faulkner University in Montgomery, AL. The world can sometimes be harsh and attempt to tear us down. My goal is to help each person I see to be aware of there faults (we all have them), but more importantly to help strengthen the positives and then to build on those great attributes. We typically have the things we need to be a better version of ourselves within us. I want to help you shine the spotlight on your personal strengths.

Join us for a FREE Self Esteem Workshop!

Monday July 31, 2017

6-7:30 pm

235 Court Street

Ages 10-16 

It's officially summer!  Lots of exciting things happening at Social Work Solutions this summer.  Not the least of which is the addition of Nasira Mukendi as an MSW intern.   Mrs. Mukendi is already a very accomplished professional and I am thrilled to have her on the team.

Nasira was raised in the San Francisco Bay Area California. She joined the U.S. Air Force Reserves at the age of 18 and worked in an aeromedical staging unit, which is a mobile hospital for wounded military members. Nasira served in the Air Force for six years as she finished her B.S in biomedical sciences in 2009. Nasira met her husband in military training in Texas and they have been married 7 years and have 4 daughters. As a military family, they have lived in 4 different states and two countries. Nasira received her Master of Public Health (MPH) degree from Florida International University in 2011 focusing on health promotion and disease prevention. After receiving her Master’s Nasira began working in military drug education, detection, and deterrence. Nasira has volunteered in event planning, organizing and fundraising with various military family support organizations, the American Red Cross, and the American Heart Association. Nasira enjoys traveling, visiting historic sites and trying world cuisines. She loves spending time with family, cooking, sports and reading. 

During her internship Nasira will be participating in community activities, advocating on behalf of clients as well as developing and implementing policy initiatives.   Her considerable skills are an asset to the community and we are thrilled to have her at Social Work Solutions.  She will also be available to see a limited number of clients in individual sessions. 

  To set up an appointment call (334) 730-0909

Sarah's graduating next week and this is her last day at Social Work Solutions. I love having students working in the office, except for when its time to say goodbye.   Here are her thoughts on this experience.

As my time at Social Work Solutions comes to a close, I’m beginning to notice what a big part of my life my internship has been for the past nine months. I have learned numerous clinical skills and had fun getting to know Jennifer and all the clients that I have encountered. Although people who come into the office for therapy are most often sad or in need of help, I have learned that many people have strengths they don’t normally notice or know about themselves and it has been my greatest pleasure to help them notice those things. I would advise anyone looking for help to take a look inside yourself and search for your strengths; they will help you on your journey.

            Thank you to Jennifer for sharing yourself both professionally and personally. I have loved hearing stories of your family and about your experiences as a social worker. I will keep your gentle mannerisms and upfront ways with me throughout my career. Most of all, thanks for showing me true authenticity.

            I’m so excited to graduate after having begun this journey eight years ago and thanks to all of you who have been a part of it. Cheers!

Sarah has a wonderful vision for the group she is organizing.   Please check it out and consider if you or someone you know could benefit from this opportunity:

I have a passion for helping those with mental illness, specifically populations that may feel lonely during times of need. I want to start this Expectant Mothers with Mental Illness Support Group to offer a safe and private place for them to receive support. One in every four women will experience some type of depressive episode at some point in their lives. This includes pregnant women. Taking medication during pregnancy for mental illness is decided by whether doing so will harm the baby. Because of this, many women must go off their medication while pregnant because it could potentially harm the baby. The group will allow them to share ideas with each other about healthy ways they have been coping and how to strengthen their self-care while pregnant, especially those who cannot take medication. This group may be a way to prevent the symptoms of post-partum depression by catching it early. By doing this support group, I hope to bring awareness to mental illness during pregnancy and increase compassion for women during a time that they may need extra emotional support. This group will be an open group and will meet the 2^nd and 4^th Tuesday of each month. For more information, please contact Sarah at 334-625-8202 or email at sarahmccracken48@gmail.com.

We  are delighted to welcome, Sarah McCracken to the practice.  Sarah is completing the second year of her Masters of Social Work program through Edinboro University.  She will be with the practice until May of 2017 as she completes of 500 hours of field experience.

Sarah is a native of Pennsylvania.  She received her BS in Psychology from Thiel College.  She married the boy next door (literally her next door neighbor) after graduation.  Shortly therafter, she and her husband began moving wherever the Army sent him.  She is Mom to two active boys, a lover of pasta, big socks and good books.  Sarah practices yoga regularly, and is interested in finding ways that yoga practice can benefit her client.

Sarah will be scheduling appointments beginning Sept 12th.   Sliding scale appointments are available with her as well.

Wow, I can’t believe it’s already May! Unfortunately, with the uncomfortable warm weather (I blame the hormones- I normally love warm weather!) comes the end of my time at Social Work Solutions. The past four months have been both a blessing and a whirlwind. I have worked in a foster care setting for the past two and a half years, so to be in a clinical setting was a huge transition, but one I welcomed since my goal is to work as a clinical social worker. In these few short months, I have learned more than I could ever hope to explain, and I am so thankful to have had this opportunity. I can NEVER EVER thank Jennifer enough for allowing me to come in and work with her and her clients this year. I hope that I was able to help some of them as much as they have helped me! Working with Jennifer (and Terri!) has solidified that clinical social work is where I hope to eventually land.

I am sad to be leaving, but so excited to see what the future holds, in both my personal life (Hello Baby Abby MaeJ) and my professional life. In the future, I hope to open my own private practice in my hometown and work as a registered play therapist, specializing in Animal-Assisted Therapy. The experience I gained working at Social Work Solutions will be in invaluable in this endeavor. Again, I cannot say thank you enough to Jennifer, Terri, and our wonderful clients for all of their help, support, and the numerous lessons over these past few months. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Welcome!

I am so excited to announce that Social Work Solutions is joined by yet another outstanding Social Work Master's level student.  Teri Dickey will be working with the practice until July.   

Teri obtained her Bachelor's Degree in Social Work from Auburn University in 2006 and has been a Licensed Bachelor Social Worker (LBSW) since 2007. Teri has over 9 years of experience in the social work field and has worked primarily in the healthcare setting as a care coordinator but also has experience with foster parent recruiting and licensing. Teri is currently enrolled in the Master's of Social Work program at Troy University in Phenix City with an expected completion date at the end of July 2016. 

Teri has been married for 10 years and she and her husband have an 8 year old son and a 5 year old daughter together. Teri enjoys traveling and spending time with her family doing activities such as camping, hiking and playing tennis. 

Both Teri and Jana are available for individual appointments immediately.  

School Supplies and Social Work Students

Its Intern season!  No that's not a thing, but I just made it one.  In Social Work programs one semester per year is set aside for "field placement" which  is  a fancy way of saying "on the job training, get in there and get your hands dirt, you only learn by doing."  Field is such a crucial part of social work training, I am honored to serve as a placement site for my alma mater, the University of Alabama.  Today I was as excited and nervous as if I were starting school because today is my student's first day!  I even bought school supplies, didn't need them just wanted to mark the occasion somehow.  So let me introduce you to Jana Bazell who was gracious enough to share her photo, and a short bio for the blog.

My name is Jana Bazzell. I am married to my best friend and we have a six year old daughter and new bundle of joy on the way! I am a 2014 graduate of Judson College with a Bachelor of Science in Psychology with an emphasis of Equine Facilitated Mental Health and a minor in Equine Science and I am a PATH Certified Therapeutic Riding Instructor. I am currently an MSW graduate student at the University of Alabama as well as a full-time employee of the Alabama Baptist Children’s Home & Family Ministries. I hope to earn my Master’s degree in Social Work by next summer and continue as a Social Worker with ABCH. Eventually I would like to open a private practice as a counselor specializing in a version of play therapy and trauma based interventions that would utilize horses in the therapy model.

Welcome Jana!  Its going to be a great Intern Season. 

Here we are almost half way through December and I don't have a hashtag for the month.  November was #yesvember  (thank you Kid Presdient) and October was #honestOctober (thank you Kelly Berry Parker).  December is a tricky month for me.  Its my birthday month which until recently has been a time of great jubilation at my house, but this year I'm just not feeling it.  Its Christmas, which is so insanely busy it sends me into slow motion.  The end of the year is also when I close out things for my business and set goals for next year.  But it is also Advent, which is my favorite season of the year.  I watched a great video about Advent being a time to "Be Still" and then I read this brilliant, eye opening and heart opening piece by Anne Lamott.   So I'm declaring this month's hashtag #bestill.  One of the projects I'm working on right now is a seminar about self care and preventing burnout.  If there were ever a motto for self care #bestill would be that motto.   In the spirit of being still and self care I will now post the tasks I accomplished this morning.  Not the to do list I should have done but the truth of what I really did.  Here goes:

1. Dropped kids of at school ON TIME.  Thats a biggie, and I was feeling pretty proud until I realized the youngest didn't have his backpack. #ohwell

2. Made myself an egg and sausage for breakfast.  Living in the land of Lucky Charms and PopTarts most of the time means this is a pretty big one too.  Felt like a full fledged culinary rock star.  Maybe breakfast really is the most important meal of the day, and self care should start with a good breakfast.

3.  Watched two episodes of The New Girl because it makes me laugh. I was also checking email and putting away laundry.  #winning  Nothing wrong with a little mindless multi tasking.  Laughter is proven to improve all aspects of life, even laundry. Also, I took some super cute pics and posted on IG (check it out they are really cute)

4. Took the dog on an extended walk.  No brainer, exercise especially in the sunshine improves mood.
While on the walk I found a perfectly shaped and sized pinecone, briefly considered staging a photo and selling it on IG (see above skills) because this is apparently a thing selling pinecones from your yard.  Decided not to enter the fray and tossed the pinecone aside.

5. Wrote and discarded a rambling blog about a sweatshirt I had in college.

6. Spent 10 minutes looking for an appropriate hair tie.  Failing to find one I called to schedule a hair cut instead. Also, I pulled some good friends in the medical field away from their job saving lives to answer questions via text about botox (advisability) and popcorn makers (availability).   From this we learn two things, reaching out to friends always makes us feel better.  And sometimes you gotta cut your losses and change things up.  I'll be wearing a hat for a while, but c'est la vie.

So that's it, most of it anyway.  I read, laughed, reached out to friends, exercised and ate like a grown up.   That's how I spent my morning being still and practicing self care. I won't list all the things on my list I didn't do, because being still is about being present.  And I feel 100% better than I did when I was staring at my to do list this morning.  

How can you #bestill and practice radical self care this season?  Share your thoughts in the comments.  We can all be still together and learn from one another.

Unspoken Grief

   When Hunter and I were married 18 years ago we had very specific ideas about how we would grow our family.  Wait 5 years so we could enjoy some time together, have one child, adopt another and there you go- family done.   What is the saying about God laughing while we make plans?  I think she/he just utters a "Bless their hearts"    Now nearly 20 years later I have a whole new thought about what it means to have a family, to start a family.   Twins gone before I had a chance to wrap my mind around there being two,  then Robert a fighter from the start.  Two more babies and a fallopian tube gone.  Then pills and shots and blood draws and ultrasounds brought me Ethan.  And then "Surprise" a brand new baby boy at 40.   Yeah, God def has a sense of humor.  

But  each and every experience taught me something different.  I learned how to grieve, I learned how to mourn, I learned how to honor the possible.  I learned FAITH and to lean on my people. 

 ( And I have so many people- thankful for all of them...too many to name.  How would I have done it without my tribe?)

    And I have so many sisters who have known that pain.  It takes my breath away really.  There are so many of us- I have had the privilege to meet some amazing women and men, Moms and Dads who keep the memory of their lost child close and soldier on to help others.  This isn't a journey I would choose or wish for anyone, but I feel so privileged to have been included on it.  

     There are so few ways to talk about the loss of an unborn child-  and we don't have community rituals to make it easier.  Most of us are just making it up as we go.  When we baptized Andrew we lit a candle for all the babies we didn't meet and all the parents who have known that pain.  My dear friend Olivia helped lead a memorial service to remember all those babies,  I have helped facilitate groups for others, I have lit candles and released balloons.  Last month I got a new tattoo,  I like the idea that these children who left my body  too soon are represented on my body in some way.  

 There are so many other ways people choose to honor and remember those lives- the point is that we need to acknowledge and grieve and step into the journey.   Grief is the only mechanism I know that brings healing in the face of loss.  I have seen this in my own life and in my work.  No matter what model you talk about, stages, or steps or tasks of grief it all comes down to one basic pri

niciple.  Change brings loss and we need to heal from that loss if we are to move on to the next place in our life.  

     Tomorrow is the day set aside to remember/honor Infant and Pregnancy Loss.  I'll light one candle for each of my babies.  There is a memorial service being held at the Montgomery Museum of Art.  If you said goodbye too soon to a child I encourage you to take a moment and reflect tomorrow.  For those of you have never known that loss- I bet you know someone who has.  Hold them a little closer in your thoughts and know that even an unspoken loss bring grief and needs healing.  

Enough Already

     I have been thinking about enough lately.  I say "enough already" roughly 20 times a week.  Usually I say to my children to indicate I have had enough of their bickering or general mayhem.  Sometimes I whisper it to myself when I am on the last inch of patience I have. Sometimes I say it to my husband to let him know I have received whatever message he is sending loud and clear.   In the trenches of junior high homework with my son we have settled for "good enough" when it comes to worksheets etc.   And I have certainly been guilty of feeling that I don't have enough of whatever is I'm stressing about- enough money, time etc. But I've been really thinking about what is enough?   What if just for today I behaved as if I were enough and if I had enough?  Enough of whatever I need, enough grace, determination, resources.  What if I behaved as if I were enough? Smart enough, capable enough.  (Insert Steward Smalley joke here).  But what if I extended that to those around me?  
       Whenever I begin  working with someone new I start with what's strong not what's wrong.  And I truly believe that the resources we need for healing and growth are ever present, even if we aren't aware of it.  So with my clients we are constantly uncovering the "enough" in their lives.   I need to do some digging in my own life to find the "enough"  and to extend that "enough" to those closest to me.   I'm reading Brene Brown's  "The Gifts of Imperfection"  and her take on self compassion is really really good.   That's what treating myself and others as "enough" feels like showing compassion to myself.   So- today I challenge you to say "Enough Already" and mean it- you are enough and you have enough.  

PS  There is never enough Chipotle guacomole.  That may be the exception that proves the rule...

Why I quit 7th grade- and why you should as well

So this is where my roles as professional social worker and Mommy intersect.  When I went into social work I thought I wanted to work with pre-teens and teens.  I have done so in a variety of settings for the past 20 years- and yet I was unprepared for the advent of puberty in my own household.   My oldest son is 12 years old and began Junior High this year.  He attends a "traditional" junior high with only 7th and 8th graders- in fact it is the largest such school in our state with almost 1200 kids.  Yes you read that correctly 1200 students...he is in advanced classes, active in church and Boy Scouts- and about to drive me absolutely crazy.  Hormones are full blown in my house right now, acne on the face, moody attitudes and general refusal to believe anything I say.  

He has a lot of homework, not an unmanagable amount but enough to keep him busy.  The first few weeks sailed by and I thought what was everyone complaining about? This is easy- then reality set in.  He would rather play video games, he would rather torment his brothers and shoot basketball than do homework.  After two stressful weeks of pleading, threatening and reminding I quit 7th grade.   I am not in 7th grade, I do not have projects due or vocabulary quizzes to study for.  And the more I worried about his work the more he refused to do it.  So I quit.  The new system is that any grade that falls below a certain level there will be consequences  (like missing an extra curricular activity) but otherwise I am out of the homework game.  If he needs supplies for a project, or help studying I am happy to help.  But stressing over whether or not he gets it done?  Not my job.  At some point he has to learn to manage his time, set goals and work toward them.  I'm not following him to high school or college with his homework planner.   I firmly believe that our children need realistic expectations and clear guidelines.

I am also trying to respect that he learns and studies differently than I or his brothers do.  Children give us all kinds of cues, direct and indirect about their needs.  If he needs to go to bed because he's tired, then get up and finish something early the next day? Fine.  If he works better in small bursts of time, set a timer for 15 minutes then take a break for 5.   School is hard work for most kids, 8 hours (more if they ride buses or do extracurricular activities) and often they need some down time at home before tackling their homework.  '

So for all you Moms and Dads stressing about 7th grade Science projects, take a deep breath and repeat with me " I quit 7th grade.  I believe my student is capable of managing their work with guidance from me."  Then have a cup of coffee and be prepared to make a late night run to Walgreens for glitter if needed- but remember the grade on the assignment does not equal a grade on parenting.

Hello, Goodbye, Hello

 Oh my gosh, it seems like just yesterday I set up a Skype call with a potential MSW Student Intern from Edinboro University.   Working with Emily has been a fabulous experience and I am going to miss having her in the office terribly.  I thought we'd have a Q&A session with Emily (better late than never) and also shed a little light on what exactly an MSW Student Intern does.

The Master's in Social Work Course of Study requires two semesters of practicum or field placement work.  Students are placed in social agencies or practices for several days a week and given instruction and real world experience.  For me and for many students it is the most important part of their graduate education as it provides the opportunity to actually do what you are learning about in class.

Emily has been with Social Work Solutions for a year now.  That time frame is a bit unusual but she was finishing up some hours from a previous university so I have had the distinct pleasure of watching her growth over the past year.   Her duties have included leading groups in elementary schools as part of a community grant to teach conflict resolution.  Emily has also co-led a teen pregnancy group and a parenting group for parents and teens.  Additionally, she has maintained a caseload of children and families with whom she has provided play based therapy and interventions.  Plus, she is my go to when I need a project completed, a flyer designed, a spreadsheet done.  Basically, she's awesome.

Here's a bit about the year from her perspective:


Q.  How and why did you choose to pursue a degree in Social Work? 

A. I chose to pursue a degree in social work, because it seemed like a logical extension of my interests and abilities. I find the research aspect of social work to be interesting. Additionally I liked how social work takes a broader approach when looking at people. 

Q. What has been the most rewarding part of your internship? 

A. The most rewarding part of my internship is helping clients meet their treatment goals. It is exciting when clients reach certain milestones.

Q. What has been the most challenging? 

A. The most challenging aspect of this internship is adapting to how diverse the clients are. In my previous internships, the range of issues that clients were seeking assistance on was much narrower. It has been a wonderful challenge to work with individuals with very different concerns. 

Q. What advice would you give to other MSW students about to graduate? 

A. I would encourage fellow MSW graduates to subscribe to social work podcasts or journals, so that they continue to be exposed to a wide range of professional developments. I am going to miss having access to the university-provided article databases!

Q. What kind of work do you hope to pursue post graduation?

A.  Working with families with young children is a particular interest of mine. However, one of my favorite things about social work is the breadth of options available.  


I cannot wait to see where Emily lands, she is capable and resourceful and kind.  It has been such a pleasure to have her on board.  And FYI she is looking for social work jobs in the Prattville/ Montgomery area so if you need one call her.

A Simplified Summer: The Work/Life Balance

image via: http://dreamcometruecareeradvice.tumblr.com/

In today’s society, everyone is doing more. More homes are two-working-parent families; people in general are working more hours; children are encouraged to be involved in more activities and organizations; everyone is encouraged to help out at this volunteer activity or that church supper. So how do we find balance when everyone is going zero to one hundred all day, every day? Especially with school beginning soon, how do you find a good routine for your family that leaves everyone happy and healthy? Check out our tips for staying sane, balanced, and - most importantly - happy as a working parent. 

1. Come together at least once a week. Carve out a specific time during the week that your family intentionally spends time together. Turn off the TV, cell phones, emails and other electronics and spend at least an hour doing something together. This could be dinner every Friday, pancakes every Sunday morning, or even a game night in the middle of the week. Whatever it is, make it a point to have and respect this time your family spends together.

2. Reduce. Take away extra things in your routine that stress you out, or delegate tasks to others. For instance, if you are constantly stressing mid-week about extra events that have come up, start taking a few minutes on Saturday or Sunday to make a calendar for the next week. If you’re self-employed and know you work better late at night after your kids are asleep, look at restructuring your work schedule to better fit your needs.

Tip: For chores and to-do’s around the house, get your kids involved. Not just normal chores, but things that require skill and can be fun learning experiences. Have older children help plan out, make dinner and set the table. Everyone will be wondering how you manage to work, play AND teach etiquette skills!

image via https://www.pinterest.com/workshifting/inspiring-quotes/

 

3. Prioritize. You may be scoffing, thinking “I am the queen/king of prioritizing, this is always rule #1!” But hear me out – you don’t need to only be prioritizing YOUR time; you need to be teaching your children to prioritize their time as well. With so many opportunities for children to get involved, it can be easy to feel pressure to take on too much. And as a parent, it can be stressful trying to prioritize your work when you have three different places to drive your kids to on any given afternoon. Sit down and decide what is most important, then go from there.

Tip: For kids, start small. Have them choose one sport or extracurricular activity and see how scheduling goes. If they can take on more, great. If they can't, it is much easier to reevaluate when you've got one activity as opposed to three or four.

4. Say goodbye to guilt. Although working parents are becoming (and have been) the norm, it can still be easy for parents, especially working mothers, to fall into the trap of feeling guilty about their dual roles. Here’s the secret – nothing is ever going to be perfect, no matter if you work 40, 20, or 0 hours outside your home. Embrace things that are going well and stay optimistic about the things that didn’t go exactly according to plan. 

Tip: Feeling guilty that you don’t spend enough time with your children? In a study done in 2007, most children didn’t wish for their parents to spend more time with them – in fact, they were happy with the amount of time their parents spent with them. Instead, they said they wished their parents were less stressed or tired. See above for our tips on that!

Do you have any tips for how you juggle the work-life balance? Let us hear them in the comments!

Purposeful Parenting: Tips for Everyday

Last week we answered some of your questions about purposeful parenting in specific situations. But what about generally - how can you purposefully parent in day-to-day life? Check out our infographic that gives you tips for using purposeful parenting to create an atmosphere of love and respect in your home through simple, fundamental actions.

Purposeful Parenting: Ask Away

 

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July is Purposeful Parenting Month, so we've spent the past two weeks taking your questions about parenting.

We are by no means experts, and sometimes with all the material available - books, manuals, television shows, blogs, speeches - it can be overwhelming to weed through everyone's suggestions and figure out what the best approach to parenting is. But then again, is there a best approach? Probably not. As Jennifer says, "Parenting is the ultimate on-the-job learning." So here we are, to talk about another path - purposeful parenting.

What is purposeful parenting? Jennifer said - "I think purposeful parenting is parenting with a plan. Not that things go according to plan with kids. Everyone is an expert on parenting until they have children; so many of the things I thought I'd never do or always do as a parent turned out to be a fantasy. But, having a goal and plan in mind when it comes to raising kids means you are not reacting to every situation but that you are moving toward a goal. When things don't go according to plan, you can work through it because you have bigger goals in mind. So mistakes on the part of parent or child become teachable moments for both. For example, a major goal my husband and I share in parenting our boys is to cultivate in them a sense of gratitude. Parenting decisions follow that goal; if you are whiny or don't appreciate something it won't be given a second time but rather earned." 

Now, here are a few of the questions you've asked.

Q: My 3 1/2 year old refuses to sleep in their own bed.  My daughter started sleeping with us at around 18 months when she had a virus and no one was getting much sleep anyway. But since that time she has grown more and more dependent on sleeping in the bed with my husband and I. We have tried to put her in her own bed but she cries, says she is scared, and comes back to our bed.  

Jenn: It is normal for children to go through periods where they are more or less attached. However, it is important that your daughter learns to soothe herself and sleep independently. There are a couple of strategies I would suggest. First, help your daughter feel secure in her room during the day and when it is not bedtime. If she naps encourage her to do so in her own bed. At night establish a bed time routine in her room. Brush teeth, read a story, tuck her in, and say good night. If you feel comfortable, you may stay for a short time after the lights are out. However, it is important that she stays in her own bed. When you allow her to leave and come to your room, you are reinforcing the idea that there is something to be fearful of in her own room. If she cries out for you or is frightened you can go and comfort her, but return her to her own bed. The first couple of nights will be tough but it won't be long before she is sleeping confidently in her own room.  

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Q: My 12 year old wants their own Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter accounts.  I recognize that many of their friends have these things but don't feel it is appropriate for someone his age. Should I give in and allow my son to set up a profile? 

Jenn: Technology and social media are not going anywhere. As parents, it is our job to help teach our children to be good "digital citizens." If your family has established an age limit for social media, stick to it and explain the reasons behind it. If you don't already have a plan or a age limit, now is the time to think about it. However, you may want to consider allowing your 12 year old to look at your accounts to see how they work. If his friends have accounts, friend or follow his friends. Then together check it out to see what is being posted.  It is important that as a parent you set the boundaries and guide the conversation around the use of technology. There is no magical "right" age for devices or social media accounts. By opening the conversation and setting the ground rules early on you can be proactive rather than reactive.

  

Q: My 5-year-old daughter has a sensitive soul and has recently had questions about death and how long is life. She was visibly upset for several hours when I explained that all living things die. How can I continue this discussion on an age-appropriate level in a way that (hopefully) won't cause her to needlessly dwell on the issue?

Jenn: Death is a part of life but a hard thing for children to understand. At five or six, children are leaving behind concrete thinking and moving toward greater capacity for abstract thought. So, when your daughter hears that every living thing will one day die she is able to understand that means you, her Dad, and her. Although she has the ability to understand the concept, she isn't able to grapple with it emotionally yet. Reassure that death is not imminent and, although permanent, is a part of life. At this age using books and metaphors to explain and reassure can be very helfpful. I love "The Fall of Freddy the Leaf" by Leo Buscaglia. Books such as this discuss death in a gentle and reassuring way that your daughter can grasp.  

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We'd love to hear more of your questions and how you purposefully parent. Let us know your thoughts in the comments!

A Simplified Summer: Managing Your Child's Attention Disorder

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For many of us, summer is now in full swing. Summer means more time to spend as a family, less stress from schoolwork and lots of free time. However, for parents of children with attention disorders, summer can be stressful as they work to manage their children's behavior in such an unstructured time. To combat that stress, we've compiled a few simple tips to keep your summer running smoothly.

1. Keep a summer structure: Children with ADD/ADHD respond more positively when they have some kind of structure in their lives that helps keep them focused and attentive. Although you don’t have to plan out the entire day, try to allot time periods for specific activities. For instance, setting aside the hour or two after lunch to have nap or quiet time, eating meals around the same time, and setting a specific bedtime (see #3!). 

Tip: Look for a local day camp in your area that meets 2-3 times a week. These camps normally provide your child with numerous activities, social interaction with other children, and stay on a flexible schedule. This can also be especially helpful for working parents.

2. Keep it flexible: Not only can children get overwhelmed when they have too many things to do, but as a parent, worrying about scheduling every minute can create added stress for you. Don’t worry about small mishaps or schedule changes – focus on consistency. Additionally, let your children help you plan their days. Ask them what a few things they'd like to do during the summer are and encourage them to use their imagination to come up with new, fun activities for your family.

3. Set a bedtime: This goes right along with keeping a schedule. Research has shown that children with ADD/ADHD are more likely to have difficulties sleeping and getting a good night’s rest. Even though children don’t have to get up for school, try to enforce a reasonable bedtime and continue with a normal bedtime routine. 

Tip: 30 minutes before bedtime, spend time reading, listening to music, or discussing the day with your child.

4. Get outside: Studies have shown that children with ADD/ADHD show fewer symptoms when they spend time in nature. This so-called “green time” is great not only for children with attention disorders, but the whole family. Spending time at the park, the pool, or even in your own background is a great way to get your children playing, learning, and engaging in the great outdoors. 

Tip: Check out this compilation of fun outdoor activities your family can do together (via A Girl and a Glue Gun).

http://www.agirlandagluegun.com/2014/05/outdoor-games-to-play-in-summmmmer.html

5. Give everyone private time: Although time together is wonderful and necessary, parents and children both still need time to themselves. Make sure you carve out at least an hour or two each day for your child to spend time occupying themselves and time for you to decompress and relax. As a parent, taking care of your children and creating a stable, loving household begins with taking care of yourself. 

Have any tips you use during the summer with your children? We'd love to hear them!