Hello, Goodbye, Hello

 Oh my gosh, it seems like just yesterday I set up a Skype call with a potential MSW Student Intern from Edinboro University.   Working with Emily has been a fabulous experience and I am going to miss having her in the office terribly.  I thought we'd have a Q&A session with Emily (better late than never) and also shed a little light on what exactly an MSW Student Intern does.

The Master's in Social Work Course of Study requires two semesters of practicum or field placement work.  Students are placed in social agencies or practices for several days a week and given instruction and real world experience.  For me and for many students it is the most important part of their graduate education as it provides the opportunity to actually do what you are learning about in class.

Emily has been with Social Work Solutions for a year now.  That time frame is a bit unusual but she was finishing up some hours from a previous university so I have had the distinct pleasure of watching her growth over the past year.   Her duties have included leading groups in elementary schools as part of a community grant to teach conflict resolution.  Emily has also co-led a teen pregnancy group and a parenting group for parents and teens.  Additionally, she has maintained a caseload of children and families with whom she has provided play based therapy and interventions.  Plus, she is my go to when I need a project completed, a flyer designed, a spreadsheet done.  Basically, she's awesome.

Here's a bit about the year from her perspective:


Q.  How and why did you choose to pursue a degree in Social Work? 

A. I chose to pursue a degree in social work, because it seemed like a logical extension of my interests and abilities. I find the research aspect of social work to be interesting. Additionally I liked how social work takes a broader approach when looking at people. 

Q. What has been the most rewarding part of your internship? 

A. The most rewarding part of my internship is helping clients meet their treatment goals. It is exciting when clients reach certain milestones.

Q. What has been the most challenging? 

A. The most challenging aspect of this internship is adapting to how diverse the clients are. In my previous internships, the range of issues that clients were seeking assistance on was much narrower. It has been a wonderful challenge to work with individuals with very different concerns. 

Q. What advice would you give to other MSW students about to graduate? 

A. I would encourage fellow MSW graduates to subscribe to social work podcasts or journals, so that they continue to be exposed to a wide range of professional developments. I am going to miss having access to the university-provided article databases!

Q. What kind of work do you hope to pursue post graduation?

A.  Working with families with young children is a particular interest of mine. However, one of my favorite things about social work is the breadth of options available.  


I cannot wait to see where Emily lands, she is capable and resourceful and kind.  It has been such a pleasure to have her on board.  And FYI she is looking for social work jobs in the Prattville/ Montgomery area so if you need one call her.

A Simplified Summer: The Work/Life Balance

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In today’s society, everyone is doing more. More homes are two-working-parent families; people in general are working more hours; children are encouraged to be involved in more activities and organizations; everyone is encouraged to help out at this volunteer activity or that church supper. So how do we find balance when everyone is going zero to one hundred all day, every day? Especially with school beginning soon, how do you find a good routine for your family that leaves everyone happy and healthy? Check out our tips for staying sane, balanced, and - most importantly - happy as a working parent. 

1. Come together at least once a week. Carve out a specific time during the week that your family intentionally spends time together. Turn off the TV, cell phones, emails and other electronics and spend at least an hour doing something together. This could be dinner every Friday, pancakes every Sunday morning, or even a game night in the middle of the week. Whatever it is, make it a point to have and respect this time your family spends together.

2. Reduce. Take away extra things in your routine that stress you out, or delegate tasks to others. For instance, if you are constantly stressing mid-week about extra events that have come up, start taking a few minutes on Saturday or Sunday to make a calendar for the next week. If you’re self-employed and know you work better late at night after your kids are asleep, look at restructuring your work schedule to better fit your needs.

Tip: For chores and to-do’s around the house, get your kids involved. Not just normal chores, but things that require skill and can be fun learning experiences. Have older children help plan out, make dinner and set the table. Everyone will be wondering how you manage to work, play AND teach etiquette skills!

image via https://www.pinterest.com/workshifting/inspiring-quotes/

 

3. Prioritize. You may be scoffing, thinking “I am the queen/king of prioritizing, this is always rule #1!” But hear me out – you don’t need to only be prioritizing YOUR time; you need to be teaching your children to prioritize their time as well. With so many opportunities for children to get involved, it can be easy to feel pressure to take on too much. And as a parent, it can be stressful trying to prioritize your work when you have three different places to drive your kids to on any given afternoon. Sit down and decide what is most important, then go from there.

Tip: For kids, start small. Have them choose one sport or extracurricular activity and see how scheduling goes. If they can take on more, great. If they can't, it is much easier to reevaluate when you've got one activity as opposed to three or four.

4. Say goodbye to guilt. Although working parents are becoming (and have been) the norm, it can still be easy for parents, especially working mothers, to fall into the trap of feeling guilty about their dual roles. Here’s the secret – nothing is ever going to be perfect, no matter if you work 40, 20, or 0 hours outside your home. Embrace things that are going well and stay optimistic about the things that didn’t go exactly according to plan. 

Tip: Feeling guilty that you don’t spend enough time with your children? In a study done in 2007, most children didn’t wish for their parents to spend more time with them – in fact, they were happy with the amount of time their parents spent with them. Instead, they said they wished their parents were less stressed or tired. See above for our tips on that!

Do you have any tips for how you juggle the work-life balance? Let us hear them in the comments!

Purposeful Parenting: Tips for Everyday

Last week we answered some of your questions about purposeful parenting in specific situations. But what about generally - how can you purposefully parent in day-to-day life? Check out our infographic that gives you tips for using purposeful parenting to create an atmosphere of love and respect in your home through simple, fundamental actions.

Purposeful Parenting: Ask Away

 

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July is Purposeful Parenting Month, so we've spent the past two weeks taking your questions about parenting.

We are by no means experts, and sometimes with all the material available - books, manuals, television shows, blogs, speeches - it can be overwhelming to weed through everyone's suggestions and figure out what the best approach to parenting is. But then again, is there a best approach? Probably not. As Jennifer says, "Parenting is the ultimate on-the-job learning." So here we are, to talk about another path - purposeful parenting.

What is purposeful parenting? Jennifer said - "I think purposeful parenting is parenting with a plan. Not that things go according to plan with kids. Everyone is an expert on parenting until they have children; so many of the things I thought I'd never do or always do as a parent turned out to be a fantasy. But, having a goal and plan in mind when it comes to raising kids means you are not reacting to every situation but that you are moving toward a goal. When things don't go according to plan, you can work through it because you have bigger goals in mind. So mistakes on the part of parent or child become teachable moments for both. For example, a major goal my husband and I share in parenting our boys is to cultivate in them a sense of gratitude. Parenting decisions follow that goal; if you are whiny or don't appreciate something it won't be given a second time but rather earned." 

Now, here are a few of the questions you've asked.

Q: My 3 1/2 year old refuses to sleep in their own bed.  My daughter started sleeping with us at around 18 months when she had a virus and no one was getting much sleep anyway. But since that time she has grown more and more dependent on sleeping in the bed with my husband and I. We have tried to put her in her own bed but she cries, says she is scared, and comes back to our bed.  

Jenn: It is normal for children to go through periods where they are more or less attached. However, it is important that your daughter learns to soothe herself and sleep independently. There are a couple of strategies I would suggest. First, help your daughter feel secure in her room during the day and when it is not bedtime. If she naps encourage her to do so in her own bed. At night establish a bed time routine in her room. Brush teeth, read a story, tuck her in, and say good night. If you feel comfortable, you may stay for a short time after the lights are out. However, it is important that she stays in her own bed. When you allow her to leave and come to your room, you are reinforcing the idea that there is something to be fearful of in her own room. If she cries out for you or is frightened you can go and comfort her, but return her to her own bed. The first couple of nights will be tough but it won't be long before she is sleeping confidently in her own room.  

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Q: My 12 year old wants their own Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter accounts.  I recognize that many of their friends have these things but don't feel it is appropriate for someone his age. Should I give in and allow my son to set up a profile? 

Jenn: Technology and social media are not going anywhere. As parents, it is our job to help teach our children to be good "digital citizens." If your family has established an age limit for social media, stick to it and explain the reasons behind it. If you don't already have a plan or a age limit, now is the time to think about it. However, you may want to consider allowing your 12 year old to look at your accounts to see how they work. If his friends have accounts, friend or follow his friends. Then together check it out to see what is being posted.  It is important that as a parent you set the boundaries and guide the conversation around the use of technology. There is no magical "right" age for devices or social media accounts. By opening the conversation and setting the ground rules early on you can be proactive rather than reactive.

  

Q: My 5-year-old daughter has a sensitive soul and has recently had questions about death and how long is life. She was visibly upset for several hours when I explained that all living things die. How can I continue this discussion on an age-appropriate level in a way that (hopefully) won't cause her to needlessly dwell on the issue?

Jenn: Death is a part of life but a hard thing for children to understand. At five or six, children are leaving behind concrete thinking and moving toward greater capacity for abstract thought. So, when your daughter hears that every living thing will one day die she is able to understand that means you, her Dad, and her. Although she has the ability to understand the concept, she isn't able to grapple with it emotionally yet. Reassure that death is not imminent and, although permanent, is a part of life. At this age using books and metaphors to explain and reassure can be very helfpful. I love "The Fall of Freddy the Leaf" by Leo Buscaglia. Books such as this discuss death in a gentle and reassuring way that your daughter can grasp.  

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We'd love to hear more of your questions and how you purposefully parent. Let us know your thoughts in the comments!

A Simplified Summer: Managing Your Child's Attention Disorder

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For many of us, summer is now in full swing. Summer means more time to spend as a family, less stress from schoolwork and lots of free time. However, for parents of children with attention disorders, summer can be stressful as they work to manage their children's behavior in such an unstructured time. To combat that stress, we've compiled a few simple tips to keep your summer running smoothly.

1. Keep a summer structure: Children with ADD/ADHD respond more positively when they have some kind of structure in their lives that helps keep them focused and attentive. Although you don’t have to plan out the entire day, try to allot time periods for specific activities. For instance, setting aside the hour or two after lunch to have nap or quiet time, eating meals around the same time, and setting a specific bedtime (see #3!). 

Tip: Look for a local day camp in your area that meets 2-3 times a week. These camps normally provide your child with numerous activities, social interaction with other children, and stay on a flexible schedule. This can also be especially helpful for working parents.

2. Keep it flexible: Not only can children get overwhelmed when they have too many things to do, but as a parent, worrying about scheduling every minute can create added stress for you. Don’t worry about small mishaps or schedule changes – focus on consistency. Additionally, let your children help you plan their days. Ask them what a few things they'd like to do during the summer are and encourage them to use their imagination to come up with new, fun activities for your family.

3. Set a bedtime: This goes right along with keeping a schedule. Research has shown that children with ADD/ADHD are more likely to have difficulties sleeping and getting a good night’s rest. Even though children don’t have to get up for school, try to enforce a reasonable bedtime and continue with a normal bedtime routine. 

Tip: 30 minutes before bedtime, spend time reading, listening to music, or discussing the day with your child.

4. Get outside: Studies have shown that children with ADD/ADHD show fewer symptoms when they spend time in nature. This so-called “green time” is great not only for children with attention disorders, but the whole family. Spending time at the park, the pool, or even in your own background is a great way to get your children playing, learning, and engaging in the great outdoors. 

Tip: Check out this compilation of fun outdoor activities your family can do together (via A Girl and a Glue Gun).

http://www.agirlandagluegun.com/2014/05/outdoor-games-to-play-in-summmmmer.html

5. Give everyone private time: Although time together is wonderful and necessary, parents and children both still need time to themselves. Make sure you carve out at least an hour or two each day for your child to spend time occupying themselves and time for you to decompress and relax. As a parent, taking care of your children and creating a stable, loving household begins with taking care of yourself. 

Have any tips you use during the summer with your children? We'd love to hear them!

Types of Therapies

Therapists use a wide variety of techniques to treat clients, dependent on the client's needs and what the therapist believes will be the most helpful. Ever wondered what kind of therapies we use? Check out our infographic to see six techniques we use and what each of them encompasses. 

Information from: 

Cognitive Behavioral 
http://www.psychologistanywhereanytime.com/treatment_and_therapy_psychologist/psychologist_cognitive_behavioral_therapy.htm

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_behavioral_therapy 

Ecletic

http://psychcentral.com/therapy.htm 

http://www.crchealth.com/types-of-therapy/what-is-eclectic-therapy/

Family Systems

http://www.crchealth.com/types-of-therapy/what-is-family-therapy/

Mindfulness-based

http://mbct.com/

http://staroversky.com/blog/applying-mindfulness-based-cognitive-therapy-to-treatment-of-depression 

Play Therapy

http://cpt.unt.edu/about-play-therapy/what-is-play-therapy/

http://www.behavioradvisor.com/PlayTherapy.html

Solution focused brief

http://www.goodtherapy.org/solution-focused-therapy.html

http://apt.rcpsych.org/content/8/2/149

Q&A with Jennifer

This is our first post, so we want our readers to get better acquainted with the (wonder) woman behind this blog, Jennifer Venable-Humphrey. Jennifer is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker (LCSW) and Private Independent Practice (PIP) owner of Social Work Solutions, LLC, located in Prattville, Ala. Jennifer has a Master’s in Social Work from the University of Alabama (1996) and has spent 18 years in the mental health industry - 12 of those in private practice. Jennifer’s focuses include grief and loss, helping families navigate transitions, and mood disorders and disregulation.  

Jennifer answered a few questions about herself and her work, and we hope this gives you insight into who Jennifer is and why she is so passionate about social work.

Q: Why did you choose to enter the social work/mental health field?

A: Social workers are the largest group of mental health providers in the country. I chose social work because its core values and ideals of self determination, emphasis on the importance of relationships, and promotion of social justice aligned with my own core values. I initially focused on working with children and families because of my desire to work with adolescents.

Q: The mental health field encompasses a wide variety of fields -- how and why did you choose your focus?

A: I became interested in issues surrounding grief and loss in my first internship where I worked with at-risk adolescents. Many had lost literally dozens of people in their lives -- parents, friends siblings. Grief and loss are among the most universal concepts we have; everyone has experienced a loss of some kind along their journey. The ways in which we deal with, or don’t deal with, those losses often have a far reaching impact on our lives. My work with families and adults in transitional stages of life (learning how to answer the question of “how do we let go of one thing so another can begin?”) grew out of this same interest.

Q: What do you believe are some misconceptions people hold about the social work/mental health field or seeing a mental health professional?

A: Many people are unaware of the role social workers play in the mental health field.  Our training is holistic, and focuses on the person and their environment. Consequently, we are uniquely positioned to help those with mental health issues. There continues to be a great deal of stigma surrounding mental health and the use of mental health services.  

Q: How can we work to change those misconceptions?

A: I hope that one day seeing a mental health professional will be as common as going for a yearly check-up. Therapy isn’t reserved for the seriously mentally ill, or those who are not functional. Some studies suggest that nearly one in four adults will deal with a mental health issue in their lifetime. Most of my clients have careers, families, and friends, but have one or more challenges they are seeking help with. It’s like going to have your car serviced. Some things you can do yourself, others you need an expert’s help with.  

Q: How would you encourage someone who is unsure about reaching out for mental health help or therapy to reach out and contact someone?

A: If someone is unsure about reaching out for help, I would encourage them to ask others in their support system if they have ever faced similar challenges. I would also say to ask those closest to them if they have noticed any changes in recent weeks or months. Often those we love are hesitant to speak up but very supportive once the topic is broached.

Q: What does a typical therapy session with you entail?

A: When someone calls or emails me to set up an appointment, they receive a free 30-minute phone consultation to determine if I am the best fit for their needs. During the first appointment, approximately 10 minutes is spent on paperwork and the rest is spent hearing about the problem from the client’s perspective and identifying strengths already in place to meet the challenges. There are times when it becomes clear from the first phone call or appointment that I am not best suited to help someone. In those instances I work to find resources that will better address the client’s needs. After the first session, our time is spent learning and implementing new coping skills to deal with the challenges identified. I believe therapy is most effective when it is goal-directed and client-driven.  

Q: As someone who is continuously helping others care for their mental health, how do you care for your own mental health?

A: I maintain a strong support system of family and friends. I seek and use consultation and supervision when necessary. I take vacations and try to really unwind when I’m not at work. It can be a juggling act between my family and my career, but it is one I enjoy immensely.  

Q: What advice do you have for others who are interested in pursuing a career in the mental health field?

A: I love what I do, and I am passionate about social work. I would advise anyone considering a career in social work or mental health to learn as much as they can about their chosen field and how they might fit into it. I also encourage young social workers and professionals to spend time considering how their own experiences have shaped them and will inform their work with others.